Dear Confused Dolly,

Well done for inspecting his phone. You have not fall my hand. I always tell girls ‘If you don’t check your man’s phone, you don’t know your man. And if your man locks his phone, he’s not your man’, so, well done.

Now, to address your concerns: again, you have done well by writing to me before confronting him, and don’t get me wrong, you MUST confront him. But you see, men are born liars so you must prepare well for his lies before you confront him. For instance, if you are not careful, by the time you challenge him he might have deleted the evidence and claim you imagined it all. I’m not being funny; a man will insist you did not catch him if you didn’t have witnesses when you caught him on top of another women. I know girls who have almost gone mad doubting what they saw. Don’t let a man turn you mad. He will dump you and find a sane girl (who he will in time turn mad as well).

First thing you must do is send the pictures to yourself. What are we dealing with, by the way? Full frontal? Hands over jewels? Also, can you tell from the camera angle if he took the pictures himself or if there was another photographer?

You said you didn’t find any further evidence such as naked pictures of girls. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Shebi you said it is a BB? Go onto his phone. Go to application, files; then keep opening the folders till you get to his picture folder. Don’t open it. Click the Blackberry button and select ‘show hidden.’ Make sure you check both the phone’s memory and the memory card. If you find anything there, send them to yourself.

Next, start asking him stupid questions like saying you want him to take a picture of your breasts so that you can send it to a doctor friend who will tell you if you have breast cancer (I reject it for you in Jesus name, Amen). The reason you are doing this is for him to say how stupid that sounds, and unknowingly, deny himself the opportunity of using that same excuse later when you confront him.

One more thing, I don’t know how you will do it, but get the password to his email account. If the evidence is not on his phone, that’s where he’s hiding it.

Now, the most important step: The day you confront him, he must never suspect you have been snooping around on his phone. (Note that the picture evidence you have saved is not for confronting him, at least not now, it is for reassuring yourself of your own sanity. But it can come in handy later later when you just want to show him). Make it look like you just innocently found out right then.

Maybe you use the same type of phone and you thought it was yours, or, (I don’t like giving away all my secret techniques like this o) send a sexy picture of yourself to his phone, (naked with his name written in lipstick across your boobs – the reason will become clear later), delete the picture on your phone then start scrolling though his phone.

That is when you will ‘discover’ his secret pictures.

When he does gra-gra for you, and starts asking you why you should be going through his phone in the first place, tell him you sent a picture to him but your Christian heart has since been worrying you over the nature of the picture and you have deleted it on your own phone (because you cant bare to look at it) and you wanted to delete it on his phone as well. That is the only reason you were going through his phone for the first time ever in your life, and how come you discovered his pictures.

He will take his phone from you and look for the picture you sent; that is why you had to write his name on your boobs so that he won’t suspect you were sending it to another boyfriend and only sent it to him by mistake.

Lastly, a word of caution: If you are not sure you can handle what you find, don’t search o!

Me, I don’t know, but those pictures you describe sound like gay spirit to me. What if you discover he has been sending them to other men and receiving same from them? What you don’t know won’t shock you to your soul.

Good luck with all that and let me know how it turns out.

Aunty Ngozi.