Aunty Ngozi solves your problems

My Name is Ngozi, and my job is to reply to your agony letters. You have to be really crazy to take my advice, but hey, who am I to judge?
If you want my help, send me an email today:
auntyngozi@wazobiareport.com, but first make sure you understand what I'm about.
I hope you enjoy my column. Have a lovely day.
Love always,
Aunty Ngozi

I have a filling station in Maiduguri
 

Aunty Ngozi,


I have a filling station in Maiduguri. U go marry me?


Yinka


My reply

Dear Yinka,


See as you fall your hand? 

Filling station in Maiduguri? That’s like someone saying I have Church in hell, or AC in the South Pole, or Leadership Training School in Aso Rock.


When you have managed to dig up your fuelling station and carried it to Lagos, then we can talk. As of now you are as desirable to me as OBJ when he was in prison; as useful to me as Jonathan when he had no shoes. In short, the K in front of Knife has more value to me than you do right now.


Filling station in Maiduguri?! I can call you a time waster right now!


Good luck with your filling station in Maiduguri.


Aunty Ngozi

 




 Share |

Featured letters:
  • I am always at a lack of words when ever I am talking to my love
  • I can't get into the army so I want to become a yahoo yahoo boy
  • I don't know how to approach a girl
  • Aunty Ngozi please hook me up with a sugar mummy
  • She is dating my Area Brother
  • She's not taking my calls
  • Ho do I turn down a man whose wife and daughters I have dated?
  • Man seeking fair girl fail
  • Aunty Ngozi My palms are itching
  • I am pregnant for my boyfriend's best friend
  • I'm a size 14 London Babe and no one is attracted to me
  • Should I dump old rude girlfriend for 19 yr old virgin?
  • I have wet dreams about GEJ
  • I think she's a lesbian
  • I need a second wife
  • He is too gentle
  • She was fiance before I caught her with my friend
  • Help me! Girls won't leave me alone
  • I need a wife
  • He sucks my blood
  • I need a lady between 24 and 30
  • Girls run from me
  • I need a good caring husband
  • Should I confess to her?
  • My love medicine is not working on her
  • I caught my girlfriend and her friend in our bed
  • Which is ruder to ask a girl for: phone number or pin?
  • I brought her to Abuja but she's now misbehaving
  • What does one do with a stingy boyfriend?
  • They say makeup makes me ugly
  • My cousin is disturbing me for sturvs
  • I haven't been in a relationship in four years
  • Why are ugly girls attracted to me?
  • Any force that is against what you do here shall DIE BY FIRE!
  • My husband wants me to participate in a 3some
  • After giving me BlackBerry Porsche he wants to sleep with me
  • I caught him cheating through Facebook
  • How can I make a girl fall in love with me?
  • I have a filling station in Maiduguri
  • Aunty Ngozi have you gone on strike?
  • 1234567

    Write to me, let me help you with your problems
    Name:
    Email: (will not be published)
    Letter:
    Send One click will do. Trust me.




    Emotan 77
    Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

    Bridging Loans. Get a decision today
    We have access to unlimited funding, assuring competitive levels of capital per deal.

    Abuja food delivery, call +234 803 369 4078, +234 809 833 944
    Afang, edikan ikon, egusi, oha, okro, white soup, jollof rice, yam porriage, moin-moin, white rice & stew ...

    Home interiors inspired by Heritage African fabrics
    Handmade cushions, bedding, apparel and more

    Hand crafted cards by Christiangraffiti
    Inspirational notecards and greetings that touch the spirit and pierce the soul