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98 percent of women are holding their tummies in

17 Oct 2010

98 percent of women are holding their tummies in
Na lie

 

Men the world over can now cancel their gym subscriptions without breaking out in cold sweats as it has been revealed that 98% of women are holding their tummies in.

This startling discovery was made in Lagos Nigeria by a team of market researchers working for a Harley Street Cosmetic Surgery Practitioner looking to expand into Africa’s most populous Nation.

Harley Street, owned by the super rich de Walden family, is a street in the City of Westminster in London that mysteriously attracts doctors. As of last year, over 3000 medical practitioners work in and around the street. That’s more than the whole of Lagos.

The research was contracted to a Nigerian market research firm who have since posted the results on their website under the caption, “We always knew it!”
In addition, it was revealed that a lot of women in Nigeria with apparent flat tummies are actually wearing corsets.

Reacting to the news, a popular Nigerian R and B artist said: “Our babes are hot men. I don’t care what that website says, our girls are lepa to bad.”

The head of the market research company told us that their clients are very excited over the findings as they can now move into the Nigerian market to fill a gap. He also told us that his company has been instructed to find suitable locations to set up clinics in Abuja and Lagos.

He said: “We know that a lot of rich women fly all over the world to get fat sucked out of their bellies, and we know who they are and where to live. We are going to buy properties near them so that they can book an appointment on Monday and by Saturday, be out shopping for bikinis. It’s a no brainier.”

Not convinced of the research findings, we conducted our own little research by throwing a pool party and secretly watching the invited guests through hidden cameras. To our surprise, we watched flat bellied women walk into the ladies and as soon as the door shut, their flat tummies inflated to twice its normal size.

Concerned over the effect that ‘tummy sucking’ might have on women, we spoke to a leading female health care practitioner in Lagos. She said: “As you can see, I’m not holding in my belly. After four children I think I’ve earned the right to be proud of the body I have. You want to know if it is dangerous for women to suck in their bellies. Why don’t you tell me? Yes, you, Mister Journalist, it’s practically freezing in here and you are sweating. Either you desperately need to use the toilet, or you are trying to impress me with a flat tummy you really don’t have. Which is it?”
Comments have been disabled

Udenweze fidelma On 8/19/2011 10:38:23 PM
Can this be true?
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