Black men living abroad meet to discuss why white people are no longer afraid of them

04 Oct 2011

Black men living abroad meet to discuss why white people are no longer afraid of them

White people are no longer afraid of him. Photo: rzrxtion


 


London – A meeting of People of Black descent living in the UK has held in London over what members describe as the worrying trend of white people no longer being afraid of black people.


The Nigerian chapter of the association met in a council flat in the Peckham area of London where members shared their experiences of white people no longer being afraid of them.


According to a shaken member, he used to always be able to get a seat on the train even when the carriage is cramped. But of late, no matter how much he stared at white folk already sitting down, they simply starred back at him or look away, but they never casually get up, pretending to be tired of sitting down, so that he can take their place.


And even when he does manage to get an empty seat next to a white person, he no longer has monopoly of the armrests; they fight him for it. And once, he claimed, a white boy even asked him to please move his hand.


Other members also shared their alarming stories of how white people no longer feared them but none was as frightful as the story of one Mr Innocent Anini, AKA Broken Bottle.


According to the self-proclaimed area father of Hackney Central, he was walking down Morning Lane one day, minding his business and eating his McDonalds burger, when a little white girl of no more than ten pulled his arm and told him that he had dropped his burger wrapper on the sidewalk.


“She was only a small child, so it wouldn’t have bothered me,” said Mr Broken Bottle, “But her mother was also there with another baby in a pram, looking at me as if she was waiting to flog me for littering the streets of London! Can you just imagine that?”


After lengthy arguments, it was agreed that reason white people no longer fear black people in the UK, (at least, Nigerians) is that they, the white people, also read the news and watch television and they know that the Nigerian president is ball-less  (without balls). And as far as they are concerned, so are his citizens - wherever they may be in the world.


At this juncture, the members agreed to keep their discovery secret; in case other non-Nigerian black people living in the UK find out that they, the Nigerians, are to blame for white people no longer being afraid of black people.


- Miss V




Comments have been disabled

moveon On 6/8/2014 12:00:36 AM
what is it with all the african securityguards, in shops, staring at FOLLOWING black women and youngsters around, like about to run off with merchandise, Know yourself
Sorry bunch On 10/12/2011 9:52:01 AM
After reading some of the comments here I need to ask if they were written by Nigerians or simply black men. You say its not funny yet you click the like button. I for one found it very amusing and i understand the reason for the slur on the Nigerian president. It is a long held view in Nigeria that he is spineless and thats what this piece of satire work is talking about. Nigeria has become a terrorism hotspot under his watch and he seems incapable of giving his people the much needed assurance they crave for talk less of doing something about the suicide bombers. this is satire and satire pokes fun at government.
Ivana_xo On 10/12/2011 12:54:14 AM
This was not funny at all & yes i do realize its satire (or atleast a pathetic attempt) but it's simply not funny. Maybe your next post would delight me (:
Hehehe On 10/12/2011 12:52:17 AM
Your not funny :/
Eniyan rere On 10/11/2011 6:22:17 PM
Someone is having us on. Commmmmmoooon!!!!. Lol!!

Bored! On 10/11/2011 10:28:05 AM
I guess this was supposed to be funny.... it's not!
Dubious On 10/11/2011 9:39:49 AM
ANd one more thing - its fucking hilarious!!!!!!!!!! n im black nigerian
Dubious On 10/11/2011 9:38:51 AM
Me wonders why a succession of negative comments have been posted. Is it possible that the story has touched a raw nerve? get a life. It's satire
Archer On 10/11/2011 9:34:39 AM
Poor content & certainly not hilarious.



The Darkness On 10/10/2011 10:50:07 PM
Doesn't make any sense. This is cow dung, bulls**t, cattle poo. What the heck man? Try again next time. Radarada eniyan yi!!!
Joey On 10/10/2011 10:25:57 PM
True, started off well, but crash landed....my smile just wiped off. I'm not Nigerian, and I still think the Nigeria Attach theme didn't work out well. Waste of my time here mate. Nah! Not worth it. Summary: this is crap. Baloney!
John On 10/10/2011 1:58:32 PM
Started out funny, and then ended with a silly point. Poor work
Anonymous On 10/10/2011 1:57:47 PM
This article doesn't make sense :s
Babs On 10/10/2011 1:52:45 PM
Absolute ballooney!



Paulette On 10/10/2011 1:28:18 PM
This is definitely funny....me likey
Maipeople On 10/5/2011 3:10:02 PM
Walahi, if Jonathan or reuben abati catch una, you go tell them.
Uchennasam On 10/4/2011 2:34:27 PM
Look's out Nigeria
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Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

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