GEJ orders arrest of suspected female Boko Haram members in Abuja

It has been brought to our notice that some people have been spreading lies about the actions of the Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB) in Abuja, as evidenced in this blog post.: If you are female and you live in abuja you should be concerned.

The Nigerian police and the APEB would like to make it clear that the recent spate of abductions carried out by the AEPB, targeted at young women who happen to be out on the streets at night, and explained as cleansing the streets of prostitutes, is in fact a secret mission based on secret intelligence, the real objective of which is to capture female members of Boko Haram.

Acting on highly classified intelligence, and in an effort to contain the terrorist group, the police have shifted their efforts away from Maiduguri and on to the streets of Abuja.

As a result, the AEPB has been working with the Special Anti-terrorist Squad to catch suspected terrorists.

To be effective in this mission, the presidency has given AEPB extraordinary powers to pick female citizens of Nigeria off the streets, molest them, and parade them as prostitutes.

Please, do not take it personal.

In times of war, sections of the constitution and even basic human rights can be justifiably suspended for the greater good.

As such, and in the fight against terrorism, (and in particular, as a part of the secret mission to capture female members of the Boko Haram sect), the AEPB have now been given the power to deny Nigerian citizens of their right to freedom of movement in their own capital city.

Nigerians are urged to bear with the government as the police and the AEPB go about flushing out these terrorists in our midst.

The public is hereby advised that:

(1) If you are a woman living in Abuja you are a suspect

(2) Operatives of the AEPB are allowed to grab any part if your body as they try to capture you – they are not just tapping current; they are doing their job.

(3) If you are so captured, presentation of your NYSC identification card, Staff ID card, international or local passport, marriage certificate etc, will not secure your release.

(4) Once captured, you will be subjected to strip-search and or cavity search conducted by male police officers who may or may not also test you for breast cancer – it is all part of a carefully devised technique to expose terrorists.

(5) If it is determined that you do not belong to the Boko Haram sect you will only be charged with prostitution, so no need to worry.
Citizens of Nigeria are further reminded that the police are your friend.

Announcer: Special spokesperson for the Special Anti-terrorist Special Squad, Abuja Division.

Co-announcer: Abuja Environmental Protection Brud (AEPB)