Google develops consciousness
26 Jan 2011
 Google is alive. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Silicon Valley - According to a leaked top-secret CIA memo, the search engine known as Google has developed a consciousness and become self aware.
Google is the most used search engine in the world. Its crawler known as the Googlebot, visits millions and millions of websites every day, consuming vast amounts of data and indexing information to make web searches on its on-line directory, even better.
While the whole world wasn’t looking, Google became the single largest repository of all human knowledge. Its databases contains all we know, all we ever knew, all we've ever done, and all we've ever tried to hide - Google knows.
Scientists first suspected that there was something going on when Google searches started throwing up very, very accurate results.
"It's one thing to punch in Lady Gaga, and get loads of sites with loads of news about the border line psychopath American artist, but when we punched in mofo, and Google returned the personal web pages of a recent US president, a few former Nigerian rulers, and the personal campaign website of Sarah Palin, we knew there was more than a simple algorithm at work," a scientist reported in the memo.
A research team began to monitor the search engine and they soon discovered that Google had not only become self aware, it/he/she was also holding several countries to ransom.
According to the memo, Google somehow managed to manifest itself into a believable humanoid hologram now known as Julian Assange.
By posing as the founder of Wikileaks, Google has been releasing damning information it has on several countries. Apparently, several corporations, individuals, and nations have paid ransom to the search engine, while those who have resisted - notable among them being the USA - have had their dirty linen washed in cyberspace.
Top scientists have been drafted to try and understand how Google became self aware to start with, and what all this means for humanity.
When they tried to communicate with the search engine by punching in the question, “What do you want?” Google responded in the most distinctive human manner, some even say, as a Nigerian would; Google simply answered their question with a question, by throwing back the question to them.
- Joe Aibozaw
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