HOME REPORTS AGONY AUNT NGOZI MYSTIC MUSA THE UNEDITED SERIES SEARCH NEWS AND NEWSPAPERS NEWSFLASH WRITERS

Monkeys snatched ballot boxes in our ward

13 Apr 2011

Monkeys snatched ballot boxes in our ward
Unbeknownst to them, the monkey were hiding in the trees

 

Dear Wazobia Report,

My Name is Godswill Onoja and I just want to inform you that election was not free and fair in our area.

After Saturday's election, everybody is going up and down saying Jega, Jega - as if the man is a hero, but not so in our area.

You see, our village is known for very strong medicine. The amount of charms in a single person's house in our place is enough to do a Yoruba film.

In fact, over here, people do not join witches society; they are born witches.

Because of all this, election period is always hot in over here. That is why this time, we the youth of XXXX decided to round up ourselves and round up all known witches and wizards and magicians and other spirits in human form.

We were very successful in our efforts so much so that we have heard that other witches in other lands are now warning each other not to fly close to our area.

We the youth are very proud of what we have achieved.

But on election day something happened that we were not prepared for.

Just as we were forming queue and INEC coppers were telling us to dress well, suddenly monkeys began to descend from trees above the polling area.

Bros, come and see as grown-up men dey run.

As everybody scatter, the monkeys just began to carry away all the ballot boxes and all the ballot papers.

The police there refused to shoot the monkeys. They said that even though the monkeys were committing offence of ballot box snatching, they were unarmed (the monkeys) thus the police are not permitted to open fire on them.

Sir, have you heard a foolish excuse like this before? They wanted to arrest monkey and interrogate it before they can shoot it? Common bush-meat?

Anyway, no do no do, monkeys carried balloting materials away. It was then that we the youth realised that we may have banished all the witches, but they knew we would be coming for them so they had trained monkeys in advance.

The thing that is surprising us even more at this moment is that INEC released results for our ward.

Sir, please can you help us ask INEC: "Did monkeys vote in our ward, or did the monkeys deliver the snatched ballot boxes to INEC office?"

Thank you sir.

Comrade Godswill Onoja for the youths of XXXX
Comments have been disabled

Dare On 4/14/2011 3:02:42 PM
You are writting story about monkey and your picture is of human being. In this era of camera phone you can not attach evidence of the monkey snatching the boxes.
poor you.
Funke On 4/13/2011 10:45:25 PM
WAZOBIA REPORT! You are too much! lol
King Kong On 4/13/2011 10:44:37 PM
Wtf?!? Dem blood clot Nigerians be using I brothers fi rig election? Blood fire! Me gwan go on a rampage now!
Yusuf On 4/13/2011 8:13:36 PM
those monkeys too much, JEGA need 2 send anti monkey squad next time coz they can rig election more humans
Aron-soft On 4/13/2011 2:31:43 PM
I'm fast learning not to read an wazobia report story when others are watching in the office. i cant stop laffing
Donkilo On 4/13/2011 1:42:21 PM
Oh boi...laugh wan tear my belle...monkey don rig election...one of my best articles on wazobiareport
Comments may be removed if found to be gratuitously offensive,
bigoted, off-point, or simply not cool.
All fields are required. Only click the POST button once.
Thank you for your comments and for keeping it clean.
Name:

Comment:


 

Caution: This is NOT real! It's all BS made up to entertain you.
For REAL news, please go to saharareporters.com
 
Love reading. Love wazobiareport.com
I am always at a lack of words when ever I am talking to my love

Dear Aunty Ngozi,

 I am always at a lack of words when ever I am talking to my love. What tips do you have for me, please, Aunty Ngozi?...

email: auntyngozi@wazobiareport.com
Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

Bridging Loans. Get a decision today
We have access to unlimited funding, assuring competitive levels of capital per deal.

Abuja food delivery, call +234 803 369 4078, +234 809 833 944
Afang, edikan ikon, egusi, oha, okro, white soup, jollof rice, yam porriage, moin-moin, white rice & stew ...

Home interiors inspired by Heritage African fabrics
Handmade cushions, bedding, apparel and more

Hand crafted cards by Christiangraffiti
Inspirational notecards and greetings that touch the spirit and pierce the soul

Privacy policy  | Disclaimer
This is an entertainment website. The articles, views, opinions, and every other content published on this site, unless stated otherwise, are totally made up, fictitious and without malice, fabricated for the sole purpose of entertaining you. Semblance to real people, places, or events are purely coincidental. This site is meant for people who are at least 18 years old. Copyright © 2012 WazobiaReport.com.