Nigeria officially ranked least funny country in the world

Lagos – Nigeria has become the least funny country in the world, according to the international body that ranks countries on how funny they are.

In results just released, Nigeria toppled long running winner, Syria, to the top spot, overtaking Egypt, Zimbabwe, and in the process.

Nigeria’s steady slide into funnylessness began a long time ago, but the rate of descend suddenly accelerated in recent times, leaving satirists in the country unable to ply their trade.

The publisher of little known satire website, wazobiareport.com, said he wasn’t surprised by the news. He lamented over a situation in which, according to him, ‘As a satirist, I consider the government’s antics and wonder, how can I even make a joke about this?’

He revealed how he has had to turn down several stories meant for publication, simply because: ‘Its just not funny when someone looses the Governor’s Forum election, then begins to parade himself as the winner, calling meetings and stuff, and the government congratulates him on winning, which he did not! Tell me, how to do write about that? How? What can you say about that that is tongue-in-cheek?’

Mr Jowo Mabinu, a regular contributor to the website, recalled the days when it was fun to poke fun at funny things said by some funny people who may or may not be married to elected officials. But even that well soon dried up when the hitherto funny people also became not so funny by meddling in the politics of the nation.

Mr Mabinu said “Sometimes, I begin to write a piece; then I think, the publisher won’t publish this. This is just not funny. Not that its not funny, haha; it is just NOT funny, you know? Like, it is not funny that lawmakers are breaking each others heads with the staff of office, you know? And not one of them, captured on tape, will go to prison. It is just not funny. Like it isn’t funny that there is video evidence of a governor wining an election among his peers, and another governor – who looses in the recorded election – is congratulated by the government as if he won the election.

And you know what’s even less funny? When you read about it on blogs and news sites in the country and ordinary civilians are accusing the governor who won, of being too ambitious for not stepping down for the one who lost! I mean, THAT IS JUST NOT FUNNY! And now, they are breaking heads in the House of Assembly! With the MACE! Come’n! That’s JUST NOT FUNNY!”

The situation has become so bad, and, with Nigeria now ranked least funny country in the world, that the publisher of wazobiareport.com has hinted that he might be looking for a new job as a rapper or a pastor, or he might write a novel, or something.

- Joe Aibozaw