Not all students are into runs
08 Feb 2011
 Apparently, there are still some 'slow' students in the country
Lagos - Just when older Nigerians are starting to lose all faith in the youth, a new study has revealed the amazing fact that not all students in the nation are into runs!
This surprising and unexpected revelation has caused many parents who have children in higher institutions in the country to sigh with relieve and some have even offered thanksgiving at their churches, mosques, and spiritualist's shrines.
The group of social scientists who carried out the research said that they were astonished when results came in and they discovered that about 1.2% of students have never participated in so called runs, either knowingly or unknowingly - knowingly being when a subject directly offers sexual favours in return for financial compensation, while unknowingly is when one is 'runned' by another for a paying client without ones knowledge or partaking in the payments thereof.
The study made no distinction between the sexes because according to the researchers, preliminary investigations revealed that female aristos are as likely to seek the services supplied through runs as their husbands.
Reacting to the news, a lecturer at the University of Lagos questioned the findings and expressed concern over the tools used to carry out the survey. According to him, "The only difference between a student and a prostitute is student ID card."
The researchers are however standing by their result, claiming that their method of study only allowed for an error margin of about 0.009%.
Professor Itu Reed who led the team explained that orthodox methods of research such as questionnaires could not be used due to the nature of the investigation and the subject been studied. According to him, his team devised an ingenious approach which they have since named 'The Runs Test.'
In the Runs Test, the researchers lie to subjects to be studied that they are taking part in a competition to win tickets to see live performances by D'Banj, 2Face, P Square, etc. To win the tickets, subjects must correctly define a series of words such as, RUNS, ARISTO, SHORT-TIME, PAY MASTER, JUNIOR-ARISTO, BRAZILIAN, FATHER CHRISTMAS, MUMU.
The 1.2% of students who failed the test, and as such have been determined not to be involved in runs, consistently gave wrong answers such as defining ARISTO as the shortened form of the word, ARISTOCRAT, and RUNS as referring to errands.
Students, male and female, have since issued an official complaint.
- Joe Aibozaw reporting for wazobiareport.com.
|