OBJ to attempt to give a damn

05 Dec 2010

OBJ to attempt to give a damn
No one dared wake up the last Nigerian patriot

 


Ota Farm, Ogun State - Former head of state, and the man who has ruled Nigeria for the longest cumulative length of time, Retired General Olusegun Obasanjo, has told Nigerians that he will finally attempt to give a damn.

Hosting reporters at his Ota Farm, OBJ, as he is fondly known, took members of the press on a tour of his thriving business. He was particularly keen on showing off his flourishing cassava plants.

In his trademark jocular manner that has made him a delight with journalists, Baba, as he is also called, treated his guests to a series of interesting titbits on farming:

"Sometime ago, when we were in America on a tour, we met some farmers who told us about new scientific methods of farming, like talking to your plants and giving them names. This one here is Atiku, see how big its head is? I talk to all the plants at least once a day when I'm not away from Ota. See how well they are doing?"

After a day spent feeding Jona the donkey, milking Babangida the cow, and tending to Nuhu the horse, Baba retired with his guests to his farmhouse where food from his land was served as the interview commenced.

Amongst other things, Baba was asked to comment on the emergence of his estranged former vice president as the northern consensus candidate to run for the office of President next year. Baba however declined to make a comment, citing the risk of heating up the polity by offering opinions that may later be misinterpreted. He however told the journalist how he got Atiku the Cassava to grow bigger by constantly lying to it that one day he too would become commander in chief.

A rather brave young man brought up the incidence in which the former president was physically assaulted by a member of the public at the Murtala Muhammad Internal Airport. The attacker had called Obasanjo names, blamed him for everything that is wrong with Nigeria today, and driven his point home by dashing the old man several punches.
The reporter wanted to know if this was for OBJ, an indication of what the people think about him and his time in power.

It was at this point that a forlorn Baba made the solemn promise to attempt to start giving a damn about what people think about him. He promised that, he would try to stop ‘laughing o’, and once in a while, he would read Nigerian newspapers and visit websites like Saharareporters.com, and not just to look for pictures of himself.”

- Joe Aibozaw



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Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

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