Pastor Joshua offers to do deliverance for Tiger Woods

Lagos - Nigerian superstar pastor, prophet, HIV/AIDS healer, football score predictor, and winner of second best afro on a Nigerian man for seven years running, Pastor T.B. Joshua, has extended a spiritually charged helping hand to one-time top seed golfer, Tiger Woods.

Mr Woods' troubles began when on learning of his shenanigans with less beautiful women, his wife decided to practice her swing across his face using a driver.

Since then, and after the inevitable divorce and parting with a reported $40 million in settlement, the golfer's game has become so rubbish that even his former caddy has been bold enough to publicly say what he really feels about his ex-boss.

The disgraced star's troubles now appear close to being over as the Nigerian miracle working pastor has now taken a selfless interest in his case. While some critics of the Pastor, especially those who some describe as 'confused because of knowing too much book,' have suggested that Mr Woods' string of failures in golf tournaments is probably evidence of brain damage caused by his wife hammering him on the head with a golf club, the pastor has during a sermon told his church members that God has revealed to him that the former Mrs Woods is a witch.

The pastor already has an excellent record of curing witchcraft affliction and in his own words, 'After I perform deliverance for him (Tiger Woods) he will shoot golf in one continent and it will go and land hole-in-one in another golf course in another continent!'

His congregation shouted Amen and danced in jubilation.

-Jowo Mabinu