London – A team of British scientists are very close to discovering why rich and famous men cheat on their wives.
“Why do these rich folk want to bed lots of pretty young girls?” brilliant scientists asked.
A breakthrough came when scientists decided to stop concentrating on the men and start looking elsewhere.
As the London team marched on towards the elusive answer, a rival team in New York focused on the women such men cheat with.
The New York team worked on the flawed and stupid theory that famous rich men, for some inexplicable reason, attract a lot of pretty girls willing to overlook such details as marriage.
Unlike the New York team, the London team had discovered that if they input everything they know about famous rich men into a super-fast computer, and if they set the computer to keep computing till it found a similarity, they would soon discover the one thing that all the men have in common.
“I don’t want to second guess the computer,” said Professor Win Wang Wu, “but I won’t be surprised at all if it turns out that all these men have been bitten by a new type of exotic insect whose venom makes its victims suddenly want to shag lots and lots of women. You know, like some sort of sex fever.
“These men are very rich; they often have vacations at exotic places you and I can only dream of. Who knows what kinds of insects bite them there?
“It’s got to be something like that. Yes. A neurological disease brought on by the venom of a yet unknown parasitic organism. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I mean, why else would rich famous men want to shag lots of pretty sexy women?”
- Earl Grey