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Top 10 most Useless Government agencies in Nigeria

15 Feb 2011

Top 10 most Useless Government agencies in Nigeria
The definitive list of 2011

 

Abuja - Wazobia Report has concluded an intricate investigation into the most useless government agencies in Nigeria. The reporter is fully aware that the description of something as more useless than the other is a logical absurdity, as “USELESS” is supposed to be the superlative depiction of inefficiency, and thus cannot surpass itself. But what can I say? We live in a strangely absurd country:

10) Ministry of Special Duties:
This is indeed a truly special Ministry as even the most intellectually sophisticated technocrat cannot outline the role of this ministry in the country. We are therefore at liberty to speculate that this ministry is strictly “for the boys”. It might be a little less hypocritical if they named this ministry, “The avenue to chop money without having to answer too many questions.”

9) Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC):
This organization has truly earned a spot on this list of nonperformers. An indictment of this organization can be drawn simply by looking at the state of development in the Niger Delta today. This organization has failed so much that it makes the man, Failure, whom the term was named after, look like a success.

8) Ministry of Police Affairs:
If ridiculous ever walked on planet Earth, it will find a true and genuine home in the ministry of police affairs.
Everything about this ministry just spells ridiculous. Not only is the creation of an entire ministry for the handling of the affairs of the police force ridiculous, it is even more ridiculous that the only agency that has an entire ministry to handle its affairs turns out to be the most mismanaged agency in the entire country. Speaking of the police ….

7) The Nigerian Fire Service:
LOL. Excuses given by the fire service when called range from, “There is no water in our trucks,” to, “When the fire has nothing else to burn, it will off by itself.” This begs the question; “Does this agency actually really exist?” God help us.

6) The Nigerian Water Board:
If the existence of the fire service has been a subject of debate, there is one thing on which all Nigerians appear to be in full agreement; that the existence of the water board is an absolute myth.
Nigerians appear to be in general concurrence as to the unreality of the water board, and to the fact that the so called water board is just a government conspiracy to cover up the existence of UFOs.

5) NYSC:
The only thing more annoying than the fact that NYSC is completely and absolutely useless is the arrogance with which the staffs handle issues.
Seriously though, what exactly is the objective of NYSC? Integration and harmony? Then the headquarters should be moved to Jos because they could do with some serious integrating and harmonizing there.
The purpose of NYSC has obviously been defeated because there has been no government policy to support this institution, which is why it has landed at no 5 on this list.

4) Ministry of Niger Delta:
The creation of this ministry can best be described as the clueless throwing of bureaucracy at a problem that refuses to go away.
This ministry is second only to police affairs on the ridiculousness-scale, but surpasses it by far on the uselessness-scale.
Is the creation of this ministry really the Nigerian government’s answer to the challenges of development within the Niger Delta or is this just a joke where Mr Orube will come on NTA and be like, “We got you. You have all been punked!”
One hopes the latter is the case. I am still watching NTA and waiting.

3) The Civil Defense Corps:
What are these people? Who are these people? Why are they standing on the streets of Nigeria? Who put them there? Why are they always staring at me when I drive around Abuja? Are they perhaps trying to tell us something that we are too dumb to understand? Why don’t they just go away? … Stay tuned … All these and more to be answered when Nigeria actually gets a government by the people and for the people.

2) The Nigerian Police Force:
I know what you’re thinking; “How can the NPF be number two and not number one?”
The truth is, there was a battle within me but I feel that in recent times, the police have gotten a little better thus becoming the second most useless government agency instead of the first. Congratulations boys.

1) PHCN, NEPA, or whatever they call them:
Need I say more? Do these people really require any kind of introduction?

- Owi the J.town boy, reporting for Wazobiareport.com
Comments have been disabled

Alex On 1/15/2015 11:41:05 AM
If it wasn't so serious you would say that the Nigerian Government is a joke against the terrorists. Get some backbone and save your people. Get good strong leadership into your government, lift the morale of your troops and go on the attack. You as a government are the laughing stock of the whole world. Get stuck into these disgusting Bopko bunch. PROVE YOUR GOVERNMENT AND THE LEADERSHIP TO THE WHOLE WORLD.
David On 6/13/2013 11:02:33 AM
I dont think you did your homework well. Agencies like the NYSC are NOT useless. In my opinion, that is one of the only agencies in this country that still works. You are probably looking and speaking from a single story experience.
abigail On 4/30/2013 5:38:44 PM
Really nice and apt analogy of nigerian ministry..we need help
IvyAnn On 4/14/2013 11:13:03 PM
hahaha...hehe! Owi is too much. What an epileptic country...smh!
udeme james On 7/18/2012 2:34:02 PM
OMG they are really useless
orax On 4/5/2012 11:01:38 AM
naiaja, a sad case. when will tinz eva change for the better? or r we condemned to this hell? may God help us. amen
iBold On 8/4/2011 6:08:02 PM
Omo.... I wanna share this post die. This is the most accurate news I've read this year but you left out some superstars like Servicom, NIRA or NITDA, Ministry of Tourism, Ministry of Technology, NIGCOMSAT. Nigeria.... we hail thee.
ismail On 7/28/2011 2:21:10 PM
Yor ranking of NEPA(PHCN) to Police is in othe. A survey by the U.N gave them same ranking as yours as the Most CORRUPT govt agencies in Nigeria.
Harriet On 7/12/2011 2:13:19 AM
'When the fire no get wetin to burn, e go off by imsef'!!! LWKMD
Naija 2much jare!!
Akin On 4/3/2011 1:32:05 PM
U guys ar 2 much
lagos boy On 3/11/2011 1:10:08 AM
Owi for president !! this is simply hilarious. How do you guys come up with this stuff ?
Sara On 2/18/2011 8:38:37 PM
I agree with tunmi, you guys should do a tv show. This "Owi the j.town boy" is really creative. Love to meet him one day :P
tunmi On 2/17/2011 5:35:51 AM
l.m.a.o. you guys deserve a tele show. PHCN/NEPA/Whatever else needs no response.

I had no idea we had a fire service.
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